Cell Phone Upgrade

Over 50, Still Kickin'

My husband, like most men, likes technology -- gadgets in any shape or form. If it weren't for him, it would have taken us at least ten years longer than it did to get our first computer. He loves his iPod, his flash drive, and his wireless this-and-that. I don't even know what he is talking about most of the time. What is Wi-Fi anyway? Paul would know, and I don't care! He listens to podcasts of all descriptions, and his Internet radio, and gets his God-TV broadcasting via his computer. On the other hand, I am barely conscious of what these things are or why they exist. Now, if I can just find a way to get him tuned into what I am saying!

There is one area, however, in which Paul is rather technologically challenged -- cell phones. He has had one for years (one of those prepaid card types), but has just recently figured out how to record a personalized voice mail message. Our current goal is to get him to learn how to pick up his voice mail.

One thing overrides Paul's love of technology, and that is his love of free stuff. He would not have an iPod, a wireless thing-a-ma-bob of any sort, an anitvirus program, and maybe not even an alarm clock if he had not found a way to get each of these items free. (Read "free" as in signing up for credit cards offering premium gifts, doing Best Buy and Office Depot rebates, completing surveys, and otherwise giving out more personal information than he ever ought to. Cringe!) I have ceased to worry about who knows what about us that they shouldn't. It doesn't help to worry about it anyway.

Thus, the main reason Paul has any kind of cell phone at all is not because he needs one or uses it much. It was free with a rebate. Of course, he pays for his minutes, but the phone with its original allotment of minutes was free. This explains why he has one that is the size of a toaster. While other people's cell phones have gotten smaller and smaller, and now do almost everything except cook supper from a distance, Paul's just talks to him and allows him to talk back. How novel!

Beebee is embarrassed to be in public with her dad when his cell phone is visible. How many other dads carry a gadget that large with them? If she has to borrow it when she goes to the mall, be assured it is well hidden in the bottom of her purse. Paul lost his phone once, and we had a good idea where it might be. "Hector, could you check your car and see if Paul's phone might have gotten under the seat? It doesn't look like a cell phone, though, so you might not recognize it. Think LARGE, like the transistor radios were thirty years ago. Don't hurt yourself lifting it when you find it."

But unexpected help has finally arrived. A few days ago, Paul's cell phone provider informed him that technology has moved way beyond him, and that his phone will no longer function with the newest way they do stuff. So, in the magnanimity of their hearts (and their desire to keep selling him more unneeded minutes), they decided to send him a new phone. (Well, it's not really new. It's refurbished, which means it was the hottest item out there two to three years ago.) It is not exactly streamlined, but it IS smaller than a toaster. I'm not sure that Paul has achieved the ultimate in coolness with his new phone, but my teenager's feelings are at least partially relieved. She can now be seen with her dad in public, even if he's got his cell phone visible.

Over 50, Still Kickin'